Saturday, April 28, 2012

A Functional Adult Gets Handy

… No, not handsy. I respect most people’s personal space. Mostly.

Handy. Today, people, I did something almost worthy of the really mature bloggers with whom I am mildly obsessed! I helped Husband build some work benches! Mostly. Most of some work benches! I got my hair cut and came home and used a power tool! To drive screws through brackets into lumber!

Okay, I apologize for the excess of exclamation points; I told my mom she was only allowed three per page and I ought to be consistent. But it feels remarkable to have been so productive in the literal sense of the word: we produced (most) of something. 

Impressive, no?

And as you can see, I did not chip my nails in the process because I have discovered the wonders of gel manicures. People, they are amazing; my nails have held up for five days now. (If you are a guy, trust me, this is a long time because manicures are an exercise in futility by which you paint your nails to have the paint IMMEDIATELY begin flaking off. It amazes me that the paint on my car has been fine for 17 years when just now did I discover a process by which nail polish can last longer than 17 minutes.) 

This is what we’ve made so far:

Yeah, they don't look SO much like tables.

They aren’t connected yet because Husband accidentally had the guy at the store cut the shorter side connecting pieces too long, so now we are going to buy a saw to trim them down ourselves. I voted that we buy the saw (rather than have the store shorten them for us) in the hope that if Husband develops an affinity for woodworking, some day he will make furniture for INSIDE the house and not just for the garage. 

I want him to be able to make furniture because I’m constantly amazed by how expensive furniture is, perhaps from having spent part of my childhood in a very timbrous – wait, no, I mean timber-filled – area of the country. There were trees just EVERYWHERE. On Earth Day, we didn’t go plant trees, we cleared ivy off of the millions of existing trees. So when I look at the price of wood furniture online, I am BAFFLED. It’s just trees and labor! How can a teeny nighstand cost $1000? This is why we bought all our furniture from the very chic store of Craigslist. It’s amazing the deals you can get when people are cleaning out their inlaws’ houses.

Anyway, the plan is to get him to become a master furniture maker in his free time, obviously. But in the meantime, I hope we’ll finish these workbenches soon. I’m somewhat eager to see how much this manicure can really take. Maybe I should go visit my parents and do some ivy-clearing to pick up lumber for the next project. 

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